Hi zesties, I need some advice!🍋
As written in the title, and I don’t mean temporary but forever. This situation hasn’t happened yet, but it might in the near future and I want to know any advices / suggestions you have!
I know many people naturally buy a place for themselves and their significant other when they get married (regardless of bto or resale or condo) and they start a family or live their DINK lives happily ever after. This is also what I thought my future life would be. But I’m recently presented with another option that left me in quite a dilemma🧐
What if, my future in-laws were to sell their current place and pool together their savings money, plus me and my future husband’s money, to buy a big landed house together and everyone live in one single house together?
This was recently brought up by my bf’s mom, and when my bf brought it up to me, I was kinda stunned.
My honest first thought: I don’t like it, I don’t want it🫠 I would rather live in a tiny apartment than to live with my future in-laws in a big house. I have nothing personal against them, it’s just that from what I observed in our daily habits, there’s bound to be clashes. Freedom and privacy and doing whatever we want whenever we want etc would probably be gone. Sure there will be some benefits too right? actually what are the benefits can someone tell me🥺
My boyfriend, on the other hand, is very happy with this idea. Of course he would be happy – he’s basically living with his family, like how he used to for his whole life, so there will be barely any changes in his lifestyle, other than the addition of one woman. He said (something along these lines) : If the same amount of money could be put into buying a small apartment for ourselves or combining all our money to get a big house, isn’t a big house better? It’s chinese culture to live together anyway.
I don’t want to come off as the mean girl ruining their nice family dynamics, so I said I’ll compromise with the big house idea perhaps in 10 years later when we’re more stable in our lives, and when his parents need more care.
He says he sees my point, and he’ll turn down his mom for now. But he’s really not tactical about speaking to his mom and seeing his interaction with his mom, it might just come off as ‘my gf doesn’t want to’😭😭
Anyone with experience living with your in-laws please give me some advice! Should I be more open and accommodating and go with my bf’s mom’s idea?🥺
