In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I’m going to share my worst dating app nightmare I’ve had so far.
I moved to London 6 months ago and decided that I wanted to experience the dating app culture here. So I downloaded Hinge and matched this guy, Evan (not his real name). We talked for a bit online and he asked to meet for a meal.
It was all going well, he’s quite a nice person thus far – He doesn’t live in London but he drives to work (which is based in London) so he offered to pick me up from Uni (okay but he didn’t drive in the end). He took the time to find out what type of cuisine I like and took the initiative in picking the restaurant and making a reservation. He even called me to apologise multiple times that he might be running a bit late. I mean it all made it seem like he was genuinely nice ?? IDK
Okay so when I entered the restaurant, first things first, he looked very… different … from his pictures. But that was a small issue because I think he just used pictures from a long long time ago. It didn’t stop me from being uninterested/ unengaged during the meal and I didn’t tell him that as well. In fact, the conversation we had was light-hearted and I actually enjoyed it. Even though I didn’t think that things would progress any further for us, I genuinely thought that we could actually be good friends and I wouldn’t mind hanging out with him again as friends ??
He asked if I wanted to go for dessert after and I asked him where (because the area we were in didn’t have any dessert places). This is where things started getting a bit weird. He suggested we go to a supermarket and buy a tub of ice cream back to my place (???? I didn’t offer my place ?? what?? ) I was a bit taken aback by that and tried to play it off by saying that it’s okay, I’ll search for a dessert store nearby.
Anyway, we got dessert somewhere else and he offered to walk me home (I said okay because it was dark at that point in time and it was quite a distance back). When we reached my accommodation, I was about to say bye and just go in. But he asked me if we could continue the conversation for abit longer. Okay I admit that this is on me, I felt like I was put on the spot and what went through my head was:
– 1 He wasn’t even from London and he’s not even in a rush to go home (which is like a 3 hour train ride away), I felt bad rushing him off
-2 I live in a shared flat with an open living area with 4 other flatmates, so we could just talk in the open living area and that should be quite public.
-3 I know that all my flatmates are home and they come in and out of the living area quite frequently. So I actually agreed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
**REMINDER TO MYSELF (and anyone else who’s like me): I don’t have to feel bad for a stranger I just met and be okay with drawing my own boundaries (even at their inconvenience) if I am not comfortable.
We talked in the living area for a bit (of which some of my flatmates walked in and talked to him as well). When he was going to leave, he asked to use the restroom (which was in my room). Things just got even worse from here. While leaving my room, he made a comment that my bed looks big enough for 2 (which I just laughed it off and said yeah HAHAHA). Then he hovered quite long around the door (which I was holding wide open btw because I just wanted him to leave!!!). Okay after that, he finally left.
I thought it was all over and I wouldn’t have to see him again but I received a message from him very shortly after, asking if he could stay over. To which, l said I was uncomfortable so NO. I thought I made it very clear and was going to wash up and head to bed when I got ANOTHER message from him. This time, he sent me a video and photo of the closed shutters at the train station (so he couldn’t take the train out of London) and asking YET AGAIN if he could stay over. I was done, I just told him to find other friends in London (which he mentioned before that he had). He even tried to guilt trip me and said that he will try walking over to his friend’s apartment, even though it was already so late and knocking on their doors 🙂🙂
The next day, I sent him a very cordial message about not being on the same page on what we want and wished him well. And he actually texted back asking for a reason (because he thought the date went well) and how he could improve like for self progress or something. i- i- i- actually had no words HAHAHA LIKE WHAT DO YOU THINK, EVAN?? Clearly, this guy is #NotForMe
I didn’t reply him and spent the next week walking around in fear that he’s going to stalk me since he knows where I live 😔😔
